Stage Fright
by PerrythePlatypusGirl
Summary: Phineas and Ferb decide to put on a Broadway-style musical to help the Fireside Girls, and Candace is the star. Meanwhile, Irving has developed a crush on one of the Fireside Girls, but which one is it? And how will Doof's new "Stage-Fright-inator" help him solve his problem?


**A/N : I left the Phineas and Ferb fandom a long time ago, but this is one of the stories I wrote that I still love a lot. 3 Not to mention, I'm still a huge fan of Irvetchen. XDD Super-duper long oneshot, but other than that, I hope you enjoy! ^^**

**Stage Fright**

"Hey Phineas and Ferb," Irving greeted as he walked into the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. "Whatcha doin?"  
Phineas and Ferb sat down on the grass, leaning against their big tree. The red-head grinned up at his friend. "Hey, Irving," he said. "We're waiting for the Fireside Girls to arrive. Isabella told me they needed our help earning a patch, and they're coming over here any second."  
Irving clasped his hands together and giggled with delight. "Oh, you guys are amazing!" the boy exclaimed. "Not only are you smart and ambitious, but you also use your talents to help out the fellow members of your communi—wait, did you say Fireside Girls?"  
"Yep." Phineas replied. "Isabella's bringing her troop over."  
"I-Isabella's bringing her troop? Here?"  
"Yeah."  
"_All_ of them? Every single one?"  
Phineas and Ferb exchanged a confused glance. "Um…yeah," Phineas responded. "Like I said, they need out help with a patch, and…oh, here they are now."  
The gate opened and in walked the Fireside Girls Troop 46321. First came the leader, Isabella, dressed in her yellow, orange, and brown uniform. Right behind her came the rest of her troop: Gretchen, Ginger, Milly, Katie, Holly, and Adyson.  
Irving gasped and darted behind the tree.  
"Isabella walked over to Phineas and Ferb. "Hey Phineas," she chirped. "Whatcha doin?"  
The boys stood up and stretched. "We were just waiting for you," Phineas said. "Are you guys ready to earn that patch?"  
"Yes we are!" The raven-haired girl turned to her second-in-command. "Gretchen?"  
Gretchen swiftly pulled out the thick Fireside Girls Handbook. She opened it up and pointed to a picture of a patch, holding it out for the boys to see. "The Broadway Musical Patch," she declared. "In order to earn it, we have to write and perform our own Broadway-style musical. And we have to have out own stage and be in front of an audience and everything."  
"Sounds like fun," Phineas commented. "Do you guys have an idea for a play?"  
"Actually, Milly here has already written out the whole script," Isabella told him. She gestured to the brunette girl, who held a stack of papers about three inches thick.  
"It…still needs to be…revised…" Milly said.  
Katie raised her hand. "Uh, question? Who's that behind the tree?"  
Irving whimpered.  
"Oh, that's just Irving," replied Phineas. "We're not sure why he's hiding back there…"  
"It's ok," Irving squeaked from behind the tree. "Just go and put on your musical, I'm fine back here…"  
"Uh…" the blue-eyed boy turned to his brother, who shrugged. "Ok."  
Shrugging the matter aside, he turned back to the girls. "Alright then, while Milly finishes revising the script, the rest of us can get to work on the stadium. Let's go, everybody!"  
The girls saluted him. "Aye-aye, sir!" Then they all spread out to grab some tools.  
At that moment, another pair walked into the backyard. It was Baljeet and Buford.  
"Hello, Phineas," the young Indian boy greeted. "What is up?"  
"We're putting on a Broadway-style musical!" Phineas told them. "Right now we're working on the stadium where we'll perform it."  
"Oh, can we help?"  
"Sure! Buford, there's going to be some heavy things that need lifting later. And Baljeet, you can help those girls over there with—."  
"Um, question," Buford interrupted. "Who's hiding behind the tree?"  
"That's Irving. I don't know what's gotten into him. Do you guys mind talking to him? I've got to go order some parts."  
"Sure," said Baljeet.  
While Phineas walked away, the two boys headed to the other side of the tree, where Irving sat curled up in a ball.  
"Hello, Irving. What are you doing here?" Baljeet asked. "Why are you not helping with the stadium?"  
"Well, I'd like to," Irving replied. "It's just that there's…" he cringed. "…_Fireside Girls!_"  
Baljeet blinked in confusion. "Are you…_afraid_ of Fireside Girls?"  
"I don't blame you, dude," Buford piped up. "Those girls are scary. You know that Holly girl? I once saw her break a huge tree branch in half…on her own!"  
"Buford, the branch was already broken," Baljeet told him. "She just detached the broken half from the tree."  
"She still separated the two halves, dude! It's the same thing!" the bully argued.  
"Look, guys, I don't have time to explain right now," Irving said. He stood up and snuck over to the fence. "I just need to get out before she finds me. Can you help me get over this fence?"  
The other two sighed and walked over. Buford hoisted Irving up to the top of the fence.  
"Uh, guys? What are you doing?"  
The three of them turned around at the sound of Phineas' voice. They saw that he was just standing there, staring at them with a confused look on his face.  
Buford immediately dropped Irving, and he landed on his bottom.  
"Why were you trying to get over the fence?" Phineas asked him.  
Irving quickly stood up. "Uh, sorry, Phineas! I just remembered…" he stammered. "I have something important to do…at home."  
"Oh, well that stinks," Phineas replied, looking down sadly. "This would have made a great addition to your scrapbook."  
Irving's eyes widened. "Scrapbook?"  
"Yeah, your Phineas and Ferb scrapbook. And the UPFDS, too."  
"UPFDS…?" Irving blinked and looked around repeatedly, trying to make up his mind. He _was_ trying to avoid contact with the Fireside Girls—well, mainly just _one,_-but was it really worth missing one of Phineas and Ferb's amazing adventures?  
"Well…it's not _that_ important…I guess I could stay."  
Phineas brightened. "Really? Great!" Then he began to look around himself in confusion. "Hey…Where's Perry?"

Agent P snuck around a corner and jogged to a secret entrance in the wall. He knocked on it three times, and it began to open…but then it got stuck.  
Confused, the platypus tapped it again. The door whirred for a moment, but it refused to budge.  
Perry sighed, then proceeded to push against the door with all of his might, grunting with difficulty. Just as it looked like he'd have to use a different entrance, the door suddenly flew open. It took Perry by surprise and he fell into the secret tube. The door closed behind him.  
Perry tumbled through the dark tunnel and landed headfirst into his red chair. Quickly, he turned himself over and sat upright, facing the large blue screen above him.  
Major Monogram was there, as usual, but something didn't seem right about him.  
"A-Agent P!" his boss stammered. "Um, good to see you, um…um…what did I want to say? Uh…" he began to fumble clumsily with a pile of papers while Perry stared up in bewilderment.  
"Gah, I can't do this anymore, Carl!" Major Monogram whined. "I just can't stand to be on camera anymore! Get me out of here!" With that, he ran offscreen.  
"Oh, no…" murmured that nasally voice of Carl Karl.  
Perry just sat there in a state of utter befuddlement, when Carl's face appeared on the screen.  
"Agent P, we've got a bit of a problem," Carl told him. "Major Monogram got hit by some kind of laser this morning, and now he can't speak in front of the camera at all! We've barely been able to give the other agents their missions."  
"In fact, it's been happening all over the Tri-State Area. People who are normally used to performing or being on TV are just getting sudden cases of stage fright. Check out these clips…"  
Perry watched as the screen changed to show video clips recorded form television that morning. There were a couple newscasters stammering and giving the wrong reports, a famous TV chef setting his entrée on fire, and a mime in the streets tripping all over himself, with the people in the background clapping because they thought it was part of the show.  
Carl's face filled the screen once more. "We suspect Doofenshmirtz. Get to the bottom of it, Agent P."  
Perry saluted him and dashed out of his lair.  
Alone on the screen, Carl let an ecstatic grin cross his face. "Wow! That felt awesome!" he squealed. The intern turned to his boss, who was still offscreen. "Can I give him his mission tomorrow, too, sir?"  
Major Monogram did not answer. He was too busy recovering from his breakdown in front of the camera.

"…And so I tried to pull his tongue loose from the frozen pole, but it was already stuck. So next thing I knew, Jenny comes out with a hammer and says...and says…Urgh! What is that racket?!"  
Candace Flynn sat up in her chair in annoyance. She was trying to have a telephone conversation with her friend Stacy, but the stupid sound of power tools kept interrupting her!  
Wait a minute. Power tools? That could only mean one thing—Phineas and Ferb were up to something! The teenager gasped and held her phone up to her ear. "Gotta go, Stacy!"  
She hung up and raced outside as fast as her legs could carry her. She stopped in front of Phineas. "Aha!" she exclaimed. "I've got you now! Wait till mom sees this!"  
Candace then took a good look at all the equipment that the kids were carrying around. Spotlights, sets, costumes, props…the girl could not help but get a little curious. "What…exactly are you guys doing?  
"We're putting on a Broadway-style musical!" he brother explained. "We're going to perform it in front of a huge audience in that stadium we're building!"  
Candace's eyes widened. "You're putting on a show? A musical?"  
"Yeah," said Phineas. "Hey, if you want…we're still looking for an actress to play the lead role…"  
"Me?" Candace pointed to herself in disbelief. "You want _me_ to be the star of your show?"  
"Yeah, it'll be great! You'd be perfect for that part! What do you say?" He stared up at her with big blue eyes.  
"Um…well, uh…" the red-haired girl fidgeted with discomfort. This was a difficult decision. Should she follow her instinct and bust her brothers, or should she follow her dream of superstardom and be in their show?  
"It's going to have everything," Phineas continued. "Romance, action, drama, music…well, of course it'll have music, it _is_ a musical…"  
Candace was not listening. But then, a thought occurred to her. Maybe she could do both! She could perform in their play,_then_ her mom would be home and she could bust them!  
"All right!" the girl exclaimed. "I'll be in your play!"  
"Excellent!" said Phineas. Before anything else could happen, a Fireside Girl called him over for help and he had to leave.  
After he was gone, Candace pulled out her phone and dialed Stacy's number again. "Stacy, guess what?" she squealed. "The boys are putting on a musical and I'm the star! It's going to be performed in a stadium in front of everyone in Danville!"  
"_No way!_" Stacy gasped on the other end. "_You're going to get so famous!_"  
"I know, I can't believe it! I'm finally going to be a star!"

On the construction site, things were moving along quite smoothly. Adyson was helping to nail the floorboards of the stage into place. Katie and Holly were hanging up the curtains. Ferb was setting up the spotlights, Gretchen was helping Phineas with the parts that were arriving. Isabella sent up several large balloons into the sky, announcing the musical to everyone in the city. Baljeet, Ginger, and Irving were setting up the chairs for the audience. Buford was supervising.  
Irving settled the final chair into place and wiped his brow. "Whew! That's the last of them…" he sighed.  
Just then, Milly walked out from behind the stage. The stack of papers in her hand had gotten significantly smaller. "Hey guys!" the young girl called to the group by the chairs. "I finished revising the script! Who wants to read it?"  
"I do!" said Ginger. She took the script from Milly and began to read. The boys crowded around her and read over her shoulder.  
Before long, tears started to form in their eyes. Next thing they knew, they were sobbing.  
"Oh my gosh, it's so beautiful!" Irving bawled.  
"I cannot stop the tears that flow out of my eyes!" Baljeet agreed.  
"It's like you wrote it from the very bottom of your soul," said Buford. "And all the depth and emotion flowed through your mind and spirit, into the pen, and onto the paper…"  
He stopped when he noticed that everybody was staring at him.  
"…What?"  
"Er, nothing," said Ginger. Then she turned to Milly. "This is really good! Do you think you can help me learn my lines?"  
"Sure!" said the other Fireside girl. The two of them went into another room.  
As Irving wiped a last tear from his eye, Baljeet looked at him curiously.  
"Irving, I do not understand. Why are you so comfortable with the Fireside Girls all of a sudden? I thought you were afraid of them…"  
"What's that?" Isabella's voice called. "Irving's afraid of Fireside Girls?" the little black-haired girl joined them, having finished her duties.  
"No, no, no…" Irving said. "I'm not afraid of _Fireside Girls,_ there's just one who…you know."  
Isabella looked confused. "You're afraid of _one_ Fireside girl?"  
"Not scared, no…" Irving chuckled nervously. "It's just...ok, maybe a little scared, but it's…it's complicated."  
"…Complicated how?" asked Buford.  
Irving sighed in frustration. "Ok, well…you know how sometimes you want to make a good impression on someone but you're so afraid of making a bad impression that you end up avoiding them completely?"  
The other boys responded with blank stares. But Isabella's eyes lit up.  
"Oh! Irving!" she gasped. "Do you have a crush on one of the girls in my troop?"  
At these words, the boy stiffened, his eyes widened, and his face turned red. There was a momentary pause before he stared laughing, loudly and really nervously. "Wh-what? Crush? No, no way! Where'd you get that idea, Isabella?"  
Isabella giggled quietly. "So, which one do you like?"  
"I'm not telling! I mean—oh!" he realized his mistake and slapped himself in the forehead. He heard Isabella chuckling.  
"Wait a minute." Buford spoke up. "Are you saying that there's somebody that Irving obsesses over _besides_ Phineas and Ferb?"  
"That is very strange," said Baljeet. "Are you the _real_ Irving?"  
Before Irving could say anything else, Gretchen's voice was heard coming toward them. "Chief!" the little girl called.  
Isabella turned to her second-in-command with a smile on her face. "Hey, Gretchen! How are things going?"  
"Awesome!" Gretchen stood between Irving and Isabella and held up a clipboard. "We're just waiting on one more shipment to arrive, three more costumes to be fitted, and two more songs to be learned. We've sold about 2,500 tickets so far and we should begin rehearsing in about half an hour." She finished her report with a grin of pride.  
"Great!" Isabella said. She studied the clipboard in Gretchen's hands. "But what are all those other calculations for?"  
"Statistics," the girl replied. "In case things don't go as planned."  
Irving seemed fascinated by the numbers that filled the paper. "Wow…" he murmured. Gretchen looked up at him, and he jumped so far back that he bumped into Baljeet. "Er…you're pretty good…with the whole numbers…and stuff."  
"Thanks," Gretchen turned back to Isabella. "Well, I'd better go now. There's still some help needed backstage."  
"I'll come with you," said Isabella, and they both disappeared backstage.  
Irving watched them go, before realizing that Baljeet and Buford were grinning at him.  
"What?" he asked.

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated~!_

Perry burst in through the window at Doof's evil headquarters, only to find himself suddenly trapped behind a giant blue force field. He tried to touch the wall, but it burned his hand.  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Perry the Platypus." Out of the shadows stepped Perry's nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz. A devious grin crossed his face as he walked over to Perry.  
"It's so good to see you," the doctor snickered. "I see you've found my force field trap. I sure hope you're _comfortable._"  
Perry growled at him.  
Doofenshmirtz held a hand up to his ear and pretended to listen. "Oh? Could that be platypus for, 'Doof, you're so evil and scary, and I simply can't stand your awesomeness'?"  
Perry shook his head.  
"Yeah, I didn't think so. But you're still trapped, so I win. Ha-ha." The scientist then began to walk to the other end of the room. "Anyway, I want you to see my latest creation: Behold, the Stage-Fright-inator!" He gestured to a huge, green, box-like ray gun that was positioned in front of his balcony.  
Doofenshmirtz turned to face Perry. "You know how a lot of people are swayed by movies, or plays, or public speaking?" he asked. "Well, whoever I zap with this machine will become physically unable to speak onstage, or in front of a camera! Then, when everyone fumbles up their word in front of everybody, I, the only good speaker left, will step up and convince everyone to make me their leader! Taking over the Tri-State Area will be a slice of cake—or…or was it…a piece of…pie? Ah, whatever. Nothing can stop me!"  
The scientist ended his speech with a very evil-sounding laugh.

The lights dimmed in Phineas and Ferb's stadium as they prepared for the show to begin. Baljeet and Irving sat in two chairs backstage. They were not performing, but they were ready to help the actors out in between scenes.  
"I still can't believe how quickly everyone learned their lines," Irving remarked.  
"Those Fireside Girls are really serious about earning patches," said Baljeet.  
"Ok, places, everyone!" Isabella called to her fellow actors. "We're about to start!"  
"Wait!" Gretchen called from the back. "I can't find my hat!"  
Irving looked over to his left and noticed Gretchen's hat, a big red Sunday bonnet, sitting on the floor next to him. "I found it!" he called as he picked it up.  
Gretchen walked happily over and took it from him. "Thanks!" She placed it on her head. It matched her dress and made her look very cute.  
Gretchen took her place on the stage, and Irving watched her leave. Isabella motioned to Phineas that they were ready, and he headed out to his own spot in front of the curtains.  
In the auditorium, the hushed audience watched as a spotlight illuminated the smiling face of Phineas. He was dressed in very fancy attire, and his blue eyes seemed to sparkle.  
"_This is the tale of a young girl who found love in the most unlikely of places,"_ the boy narrated. Soft violin music played in the background. "_You may have heard this said many times before, but this isn't just any old story. This is the story of a determined, brave girl. One who overcame all odds in order to be with the one she loved. And it all began in a quiet village, not so long ago…"_  
With this, the spotlight dimmed. Phineas walked off the stage to get ready for his next part. The curtains opened up, and the light shined upon Candace. The star wore a pink peasant dress, and was pretending to sweep the floor.  
Then, as the music began, she looked up with a sad look on her face. She began to sing a sad and somber tune.

"_I've been spending all my life in this house,  
I can't seem to go anywhere  
Nothing but chores and work to think about,  
And no fun times to share._

My mom and I, we're poor and things aren't getting better,  
And we just don't have a clue…  
All we have to eat is some bread and some cheddar,  
We don't know what to do…"

All of a sudden, the music changed from sad, slow violins to and upbeat rock tune. Candace began to dance and a couple Fireside Girls joined her for backup. Candace sang some more.

"_We can't seem to do anything!  
And we're barely living!  
Problem is, nobody seems to care,  
Oh what can I do now?_

I wanna go and see the world,  
But I can't even leave this place!  
I'm just a sad and lonely girl,  
Oh, what can I do now?"

The music slowed a little, thought not as much as before. The Fireside Girls started vocalizing as Candace continued:

"_All I want is somebody to love,  
But who'd ever look at me?  
I can't enjoy life, cause I'm too caught up,  
In what I cannot be!_

Oh, what can I do now?"

The song ended, and the audience clapped and cheered. A man in the crowd turned to his wife with tears in his eyes. "It's so…touching," he said. She nodded in agreement.  
The backup dancers ran offstage, and an old lady's voice—it was really just Ferb—called to Candace.  
"Rosie, dear!" the voice said. Rosie was the name of the character that Candace was playing.  
Candace, or Rosie, turned to the sound of the voice. "Yes, Mother?"  
"Can you please run into town and fetch some more bread?"  
The red-haired girl pretended to sigh sadly. "Yes, mother…"  
Backstage, Phineas pressed a button, and the scene changed form a quiet little house to a small bustling town.  
As "Rosie" finished paying for the bread, a few girls gathered on the side of the stage excitedly.  
"Here he comes!" Ginger giggled.  
"Is it really him? Is it the Ace?" asked Adyson.  
"Yes!" Isabella squealed. "And he's coming this way!"  
The light shifted stage left, and out walked the guy who was playing Ace, the most handsome guy in town and Rosie's main romance in the story:  
Buford.  
The Ace smoothed his hair with his hands, and put on his most charming smile. "Hello, ladies."  
The Fireside Girls pretended to swoon.  
Besides them, Candace pretended to be fascinated by Buford, although she was actually disgusted. "Wow, that man is so handsome and radiant," she recited, trying to sound smitten. "I wish I could have a man like that…"  
She only hoped that Jeremy was not seeing this.  
Now out of the spotlight, Adyson turned to Isabella. "I can't believe we have to swoon over Buford!" she whispered, clearly revolted.  
"Just do it for the patch, Adyson!" the troop leader replied. "Do it for the patch!"

Doofenshmirtz giggled with glee as he started powering up his inator. He located an unsuspecting victim, a speaker at a convention, and prepared to fire.  
"Here we go!" the doctor chuckled. "Now it's time to fire the Stage-Fright-inator…as soon as it's done powering up." He kept an eye on his victim with a pair of binoculars, and the machine continued to whirr.  
Meanwhile, Perry was still trying to find a way out of his trap. Looking upward, he spotted the force field generator on the ceiling. The platypus grinned to himself. He took his hat off and pulled out a slingshot and a small rock. Aiming carefully at the "off" button on the generator, he shot the rock. The small object hit its target, and the force field disappeared.  
Doofenshmirtz was getting ready to fire the ray gun, when suddenly he was tackled to the ground by Perry's furry body.  
"Perry the Platypus!" he grunted in annoyance.  
The doctor grabbed a random stick from the corner and swung it at Perry. The agent dodged it. Doofenshmirtz ended up hitting the Stage-Fright-inator, causing it to point in a different direction.  
Perry found another random stick, and he and Doofenshmirtz began to have a sword fight, or rather, a random stick fight.  
In the middle of the fight, Perry lunged at Doofenshmirtz and managed to knock him backwards. As he fell, he bumped into a lever on the machine, changing the setting from "scared" to "brave" Then he landed on his remote, pressing the button, and the machine fired.

Back on the stage, Candace was pretending to be Rosie, who was trying to sneak into the Ace's yard. Phineas was narrating again, this time in song.  
_ "While Rosie kept on trying to sneak through his gate,"_ he sang,  
_ "And fight his dragon and avoid his pit of snakes…"_  
Candace looked at her brother in confusion. Suddenly, a large paper dragon jumped at her, causing her to fall backward. Then a bunch of rubber snakes (Candace did not realize that they were rubber,) were dumped onto her head. The girl screamed in sheer terror. This had not been in the rehearsal!  
_ "…The Ace at chicken wings while checking out his face!"_ Phineas finished.  
The Ace sat in the corner, doing just what the lyrics said. "Uh-oh," he murmured, staring into a mirror. "I think I'm getting a zit…"  
The audience laughed.  
Backstage, Milly was standing holding the script, making sure that everything was going right. Baljeet turned to her.  
"I do not remember dragons or snakes in the rehearsal," he told her.  
"It was a last minute write-in," she explained. "We figured that Candace would pick it up."  
"GET IT OFF ME!" Candace screamed.  
"Well," said Baljeet. "She sure is doing a good job…"  
Irving walked over to them. "Hey guys, have you seen the—" he was cut off by a bright yellow-green beam, which burst through the open window and hit Irving in the back.  
The boy's body shook as he light engulfed him. As soon as it was gone, he slouched a little and rubbed his head.  
Baljeet and Milly gasped. "Are you ok?" the girl asked.  
Irving looked up at them, and a smile slowly crossed his face. "Am I ok? Why, I've never felt better in my life!" Looking past them, he saw Gretchen standing in her spot on the stage, looking gorgeous in her red outfit as the spotlight reflected off her glasses.  
His smile got even wider. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do something that I should have done a long time ago." With that, he headed off onto the stage.  
Milly's eyes widened. "Wait, where are you going? Come back!" But he wasn't listening.  
Onstage, Rosie and the Ace were speaking to each other for the first time. Candace's outfit and hair were completely ruined form the dragon/snake scene, but she forced a smile. _After all,_ she thought, _Don't actresses have to put up with this sort of thing all the time?_  
"…But I still don't understand why you went through so much trouble to get through my gates," Buford recited.  
"Well, sir," replied Candace, "The truth is, I…I…" she stopped in bewilderment as Irving walked past them and out to the center of the stage.  
"Hey!" the teenager cried.  
Irving ignored her and simply took the microphone from the narrator. "Thank you, Phineas."  
"Anytime," the confused red-head replied.  
Irving stood facing the audience with his wide grin plastered on his face. Before anyone else could question, he started dancing and singing an upbeat tune:

"_Listen up, folks, I've got something to say,  
I've got this feeling at it just ain't going away.  
I tried to run from it but it simply stayed.  
So I may as well state it, I may as well say it…"_

As random as the song was, Phineas had to admit that it was pretty catchy. So he gestured to Isabella, Adyson, and Ginger, who started harmonizing with their voices. Katie and Holly started playing their instruments, and Ferb started moving the spotlights around to create a cool effect. Irving continued to sing.

"_I've been spending all my time trying to avoid it,  
But them I'd always end up disappointed.  
I don't know when it started, no, I have no clue.  
But I think I've got a crush on you!"_

And he pointed to Gretchen.  
Gretchen's eyes widened. _"Me?"_  
Irving grabbed her hand and began to spin her around, dancing.  
"_Yes, you!  
Cause you're smart and thoughtful and you're beautiful!  
I can't think straight no more,  
Cause my head is full  
With you…"_

While he continued singing and dancing with Gretchen, the audience began to clap and cheer for them.  
Buford stood on the side of the stage with Candace. He had a smile on his face. "Awwww, nerd love!" he gushed.  
Candace, on the other hand, was indignant. "Really?! Am I really being upstaged by this? _I'm_ the start here! I gave up busting my brothers for this! I fell into a pit of rubber snakes for this! This is _my_ show!"  
"Ah, shut up," said Buford.  
While the show continued, that fight at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc also went on. The evil doctor swung at Perry, missed, and once again hit the lever on the Stage-Fright-inator. The setting changed back to "scared."  
At that moment, Perry momentarily lost his footing and stepped on the inator's remote, hitting the button. He regained his footing with lightning speed and hit his nemesis on the head once more.  
Meanwhile, the machine fired once again and headed toward the stadium, where Irving's song continued.  
_"There's just one thing that needs to be said,"_ he sang.  
"_You knock me dead, it's true,  
And I am in—."_  
**_ZAP!_**  
The crowd, along with everyone onstage, gasped as Irving's body was once again engulfed in lime-green light. The boy stood there for a moment, then he blinked.  
Everyone in the building was silent, waiting to see what would happen next. Irving then noticed that he was standing in front of thousands of people, holding his crush's hand, and that she was staring at him with her mouth hanging open.  
He turned red and dropped Gretchen's hand. "Er…how did I…what did I…um, uh, er…" he stammered uncontrollably. His eyes darted around to avoid meeting Gretchen's. "Um, um, when, I don't…what…"  
Suddenly, Irving pointed at a random spot on the ceiling. "Look! Flying oranges!"  
"What…?" asked Gretchen. She and everyone else turned in the direction of Irving's finger. The boy took this opportunity to dash offstage. He ran past Baljeet and Milly and out of the stadium.  
The awkward silence hung in the auditorium a little while longer,  
"Um…what just happened?" asked Katie.  
Phineas walked over the center of the stage and picked up the microphone. "Irving and Gretchen, everyone!" he announced.  
The audience, assuming that this had been part of the show, began to applaud.  
"Anyway," said Phineas, "Back to Rosie and the Ace now…"  
Meanwhile, Gretchen had overcome her shock and slipped backstage.  
"What's going on?" Milly asked her. "Where are you going?"  
"I need to find Irving," she replied.  
"But you need to be onstage…"  
"Find somebody to take me place, then," and Gretchen ran outside.  
Milly sighed. "Oh, alright. Baljeet, you're going to fill in for Gretchen!" She grabbed the boy's shoulders and pushed him towards the stage.  
"But I do not know her lines!"  
"Improvise!"  
Baljeet was shoved onto the stage just as Isabella was reciting her line.  
"There's no way the Ace could ever see anything in that girl!" The raven-haired girl said. She turned around. "Isn't that right, Miss…Baljeet?"  
The audience laughed at Isabella and Baljeet's confused faces. And Baljeet did not know what his line was supposed to be. So he looked around, hesitating, and finally decided on:  
"Um…yes?"

Doofenshmirtz flew backwards and landed on the floor as a result of Perry's punch.  
"Ok, Perry the Platypus," he grunted. "This is where I call for backup!" He and pushed a button on the wall, and Norm stepped out.  
"Who wants a nice, freshly baked cookie?" the robot asked, carrying a tray.  
"Forget about that, Norm!" Doofenshmirtz snapped. "Get that platypus!"  
"Getting the platypus, sir!" Norm raised the cookie tray and tried to hit Perry, but he agent dodged it.  
Norm decided to use his fists instead. He dropped the tray and swung at Perry several times, but again, missed.  
Perry then had an idea. He jumped on top of the Stage-Fright-inator and waited for Norm. Then he jumped out of the way just as Norm's heavy fist crashed down on the machine, breaking it to pieces.  
"My inator!" Doofenshmirtz cried. "Norm, you big oaf! Stop! That's enough!"  
But Norm was not listening. He kept on following Perry with his fists, destroying Doof's walls as he went.

"…and finally, after years of hardship, Rosie's dreams were realized when she and the Ace found true love," Phineas narrated. A couple feet away, Candace and Buford stood holding hands. A few people in the audience shed some tears.  
"They sealed they love with a kiss, and they all lived happily ever after…"  
"Not a chance, bub!" Candace snapped. She was growing tired of pretending to love Buford.  
Phineas chuckled a little. "Ok, then, we'll let them do that in private. The point is, they all lived happily ever after. The End."  
With that, the curtains closed. The audience immediately erupted into cheers and applause.  
Candace then quickly dropped Buford's hands. "Finally, it's over!" she exclaimed. "Now you guys are so busted!" She ran off the stage, giggling maniacally.  
As the people began filing out of the doors, Gretchen circled the stadium, trying to find a trace of Irving. Suddenly, she spotted him, huddling behind the tree just as he had been that morning. She walked over and sat next to him. He had his head buried in his hands.  
"Hey," the girl said, tapping his shoulder.  
Irving looked up at her and said nothing.  
"Why are you hiding back here?" asked Gretchen.  
He scoffed. "Why do you think? I just embarrassed myself in front of thousands of people…you must think I'm a real idiot now, huh?"  
"No…well…I admit it was a little out there, but…I thought it was kinda sweet."  
Irving's eyes widened in surprise. "Y-you did?"  
She nodded.  
"Oh…wow." Irving chuckled nervously, and happily. "That's great! So…you wanna hang out sometime?"  
Gretchen smiled. "Sure."  
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Candace ran up to her mother as she was taking some food out of the fridge.  
"Mom! Mom! Mom" The teenage girl cried.  
"Candace, what happed to you?" her mom asked, noticing Candace's tattered clothing and messed up hair.  
"Phineas and Ferb built a giant stadium in the backyard! And it's got an auditorium and a stage and everything!" She grabbed her mom's hand and started dragging her outside. "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!"  
Back at Doofenshmirtz's headquarters, Norm continued to mindlessly smash walls and old inators, trying to catch Perry. Doofenshmirtz chased him around the room, trying to get his attention. "Norm, stop! You're destroying everything!" he yelled.  
Norm turned in a different direction, and Doofenshmirtz panicked some more. "No! Stay away from my disintegrator-inator!"  
Perry landed on said inator and stepped on a button. The machine fired a random bolt before it was smashed by Norm. The robot chased Perry around some more before finally hitting a big red button on the wall.  
"Oops!" Norm exclaimed, realizing his mistake at last. The entire place began to shake.  
"You fool!" cried Doofenshmirtz. "Now you've pressed the Lab Self-Destruct Button!"  
"Why do you even have a—." Norm began.  
"Don't question me, you clumsy hunk of metal!" snapped Doofenshmirtz.  
Hearing these words, Perry quickly ran to Doofenshmirtz's balcony and jumped off. He then strapped on this jetpack and flew away to safety.  
"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz cried, just as his entire lab exploded.  
As the smoke cleared, Doofenshmirtz and Norm sat covered in soot, sulking over their not-so-happy ending.  
Norm picked up his tray of cookies from earlier. "How about a cookie? It's sure to turn that frown upside down!"  
Doofenshmirtz glared at him. "Not a single word out of you, Norm!"

"Bye, everyone! Thanks for coming!" Phineas waved goodbye as the last of the people left the stadium. The Fireside Girls stood nearby, squealing excitedly over their brand-new patch.  
Suddenly, the stray bolt from the disintegrator-inator flew out of the sky and hit the stadium, and it disappeared.  
"C'mon, mom, hurry!" Candace and her mother burst into the backyard. "Ta…da…." Candace's mouth hung open as she stared at the stadium-less backyard. Then she sighed. "I should have known."  
"Hey, kids!" Linda greeted. "Did you all have fun today?"  
"Yes, yes we did," Phineas replied with a smile.  
"Ok, good. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." Linda turned and went back inside.  
Candace stood there for a moment longer before turning around and also heading in, grumbling to herself.  
It was time for Isabella and her group to leave. "Bye, Phineas!" the black-haired girl called sweetly. "Thanks so much for all you help!"  
Phineas and Ferb waved as all the Fireside Girls said their goodbyes.  
"Bye, everyone!" Gretchen called as she walked out of the gate. "Bye, Irving! I'll see you soon, ok?"  
Irving grinned widely and waved back. "Ok! Bye, Gretchen!" He stood there in pure bliss for a moment before notching that Phineas and Ferb were grinning at him.  
"…What?" Irving asked.  
Ferb simply patted him on the shoulder.  
At that moment, Perry walked over and rubbed past Phineas' leg. The red-head smiled at him. "Oh, there you are, Perry."

The next morning, Candace dashed down the stairs as quickly as she could. She opened the front door just as the paperboy was tossing the newspaper toward their porch. The paper hit Candace on the head, before she picked it up and carried it inside.  
Candace put the newspaper on the table and began to flip through the pages. _There's gotta be something in here,_ she thought. _If this really was such a huge show, then there should be something about it in the local news, right?_ If Candace was right, then not only could she bust her brothers, but she'd have her face in the paper, which would mean she's a star! Or, on her way to becoming one, at least.  
Suddenly, the girl's face brightened. "Here it is!" she exclaimed aloud.  
**_Local Kids put on a Musical Spectacle!_** the headline read. Candace scanned the story, mainly looking for pictures. It was talking about the boys, the Fireside Girls, the story of the play, blah blah blah….  
Wait! Why wasn't there a picture of the giant stadium in their backyard? Shouldn't they at least take a picture of the place where the show was put on? What kind of newspaper was this? If there wasn't an obvious picture of _their backyard,_ her mom would probably never believe Candace's story. She sighed, flipped through some more, hoping to at least see a picture of herself. There were photos of the Fireside Girls, Buford as Ace, Phineas narrating…and there was _one_ picture of Candace, but it was taken from so far away that you couldn't even see her face.  
"Ugh!" Candace threw the newspaper aside in disgust. "Are you telling me I did all this for nothing? Humiliating myself, pretending to love Buford, and I don't even get one clear picture? I should have just said no and busted my brothers right away!" She slumped back in her chair in frustration.  
A few seconds later, Phineas and Ferb came into the kitchen. "Morning, sis!" Phineas greeted brightly.  
"Ugh," Candace responded.  
Suddenly, Phineas noticed the newspaper thrown on the table. His eyes widened with excitement. "Cool! Check it out, Ferb, we're in the paper!" he held it up to show Ferb. The two boys' eyes scanned the page eagerly. "Oh that reminds me. Candace," Phineas turned to his sister. "We really need to thank you for performing with us yesterday. We were getting pretty desperate for a lead actress before you came along."  
Candace looked up at him in surprise. "Really?"  
"Yeah, you totally saved the play! And you were really, really cool up on stage!"  
"You think I was cool…?" Candace allowed herself a small smile. Maybe things hadn't gone the way she'd planned, but it wasn't a _total_ loss, right? "Yeah…I guess it was pretty cool up there."  
Phineas nodded, his eyes on the paper again. "Oh, and look! You've got you picture in the newspaper, too!"  
"Yeah, but you can't even see my face…"  
Phineas flipped a page. "Nope, there's a close-up right here!" He held the paper for her to see.  
Candace leaned over to observe a small photo in the top left corner. "Hey, you're right!" she exclaimed. "There is a close up of me….covered…in snakes."  
Sure enough, the photo showed a close up of Candace's face, hair messed up, and screaming her butt off as she tried to get all the rubber snakes off her.  
She sighed.  
Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb had gotten some breakfast and were beginning to eat, discussing what they would do that day.  
Candace leaned back in her chair. _Oh well,_ she thought. _There's always next time…_


End file.
